Negativity is like cancer; it has the power to completely destroy lives and relationships. I’ve personally been in a toxic relationships and environments that resulted from negativity. The negative thinking had me convinced that the relationship would last forever, when in reality, there were multiple instances which if thought and observed properly, should’ve warned me of an impending breakdown of the partnership. This is one of the reasons why this article exists — to give you an insight on how to identify negative thinking and learn how to stop negative thinking.
Negative thinking is a habit, and it’s hard to break.
You probably already know that negative thoughts can hurt your life. They can wreak havoc on relationships and prevent you from enjoying the important things in life, like work and activities.
But most people don’t realize that negative thinking is a habit that needs to be broken. Like smoking or overusing credit cards, it becomes an automatic response you need to work hard at spotting and stopping.
Negative thoughts are often automatic and repetitive, triggered by certain situations such as when we’re anxious, depressed or stressed. People who experience negative thinking also tend to have more worry, anxiety, depression and stress compared with people who do not (Baumeister et al., 2001).
It’s possible that negative thinking may be a sign of a mental illness such as anxiety or depression.
It’s totally normal to have negative thoughts.
Many of us live in a prison of our own negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are simply unhelpful thoughts that pop into our head and seem to be true. The truth is, they’re usually not true. They are often a way of coping with painful situations or protecting ourselves from pain in the future – but we don’t have to live by them. For example, someone who has been hurt in the past might believe “I’m not worth anyone’s time” as a way to protect themselves from being hurt again.
A common misconception is that it’s weird or embarrassing if you find yourself thinking these things sometimes – but it’s totally normal! Which means you shouldn’t judge yourself for having them either.
It may feel like you’re out of control, but you are in charge of your brain. You can rewire the neural pathways of your brain with repetition.
For many people, developing positive thinking habits is a long process that can feel uncomfortable at first. It may feel like you’re forcing yourself to be positive and you may even find it difficult to imagine how an optimistic outlook will be helpful in your life. However, research shows that the brain can actually change shape over time with practice and repetition, which means you are able to rewire the neural pathways in your brain that support negative thinking.
The good news is that this means you are also able to rewire your brain and build new neural pathways that support positive thinking. As you learn to examine situations more closely and only respond with realistic thoughts, your mind will get used to focusing on all of the aspects of a situation instead of just one or two details.
Negative thoughts are often automatic and repetitive, triggered by certain situations such as when we’re anxious, depressed or stressed.
Just like any other muscle or new skill, your brain does need time to adjust. The most important thing is to stay patient as you begin working on changing your thought patterns from negative ones into positive ones.
You don’t need to feel guilty about negative thinking.
First things first: you don’t need to feel guilty about negative thinking. The majority of the time, we have no control over what pops into our head. If it’s a positive thought or a negative one, it’s just something that pops up at random—like an advertisement in the sidebar of your Instagram app.
The process of repelling these thoughts is not about judging yourself for having them, but about training yourself to let them go like any other distraction. There is no shame in having more practice than someone else at letting them pass by without hooking you into rumination and spinning out of control.
Change your environment to change your thinking.
It’s not enough to stop a thought and then sit idly by, waiting for the next one to pop up. You have to remove yourself from the environment that contributed to your negativity in the first place.
- Surround yourself with positive people. Don’t let negative people who add nothing to your life be part of it. This can be hard if you don’t have a choice—like with certain family members or co-workers—but don’t obsess over them when they aren’t around.
- Change your physical environment. If you work at home, go work somewhere else. If you live alone, get out of the house and visit friends or go out into nature (which is proven to improve mood). That said, I know that leaving the house isn’t always feasible if you struggle with depression, agoraphobia or other mental conditions; just try and incorporate some positive changes into your space as much as possible.
- Change your virtual environment too. De-clutter your phone by removing apps and notifications that don’t serve anything positive in your life and/or annoy you constantly (looking at you Facebook). Unfollow any accounts on social media that make you feel bad about yourself (unless they belong to someone very important in real life who only uses those platforms) or spark jealousy when it comes to material possessions and so on.*Change your internal environment too.* Your brain has these two hemispheres: one controls emotion while the other is more analytical. According to psychologist ”Noah Karrasch”: “By thinking more critically about why something bothers us we can prevent our emotions from getting out of control.”
The process of repelling these thoughts is not about judging yourself for having them, but about training yourself to let them go like any other distraction.
Create reminders that help you think positively.
Life can get so overwhelming and stressful that it’s easy to forget how blessed you are. Use reminders to help you start focusing on the good things about the people, situations and things around you.
Reminders can be physical; notes taped around your house or office, or digital; apps and alerts on your phone. There are also services where you can pay to receive text messages from positive people throughout the day, such as The Daily Positive (https://thedailypositive.com/).
You could even keep a gratitude journal; write down 3-5 things every morning that you are grateful for, before heading out for work or starting your day. By acknowledging what you have now, rather than constantly stressing over what you don’t have, it helps create a foundation of positivity that can help turn your life around.
Part of breaking a habit is building a new one in its place, no matter how small.
The human brain is malleable, and gives you the power to change your negative thinking patterns. Just like a muscle, it will grow stronger as you work it out. Because neural pathways take time to form, repetition of new behaviors is essential. If a particular pathway isn’t used for a long period of time, it will eventually shrink and disappear—so don’t get discouraged if your new habits don’t take right away! To build positive thinking into your life, start small by asking yourself the following questions:
- What am I grateful for?
- What are three things that happened today that I am proud of?
- How can I show myself more kindness today?
As you build more positive thinking into your life, you will find that negative thoughts have less and less room to influence you.
Don’t do this alone! Surround yourself with people who support you and will celebrate with you when you succeed in changing your thinking patterns.
Try to develop a network of people who can help you. If you feel comfortable talking about what’s bothering you, reach out to people who can be supportive and non-judgmental. Surround yourself with people who will celebrate your successes, who understand how hard it is to change negative thoughts and patterns. Don’t try to do this alone!
Another option is to keep writing in your journal when you’re feeling down. Getting your feelings into words can be powerful. You may even want to write letters that you don’t send—as a way of expressing the things that are on your mind and in your heart. It could also help to focus on the people in your life who love you, whether they are family, friends, or romantic partners (or all three). Reminding yourself that others love and care for you can sometimes make a big difference when it feels like life has gotten overwhelming.
We all have negative thoughts, but by learning how to control your negative thinking , you can improve your life.
Finally, try to be aware of the messages we get from others. While most of us aren’t lucky enough to have personal cheerleaders around at all times, there are some steps we can take when it comes time for self-motivation or reassurance: try not listening to negative media messages; refrain from watching programs or videos that make you feel bad; avoid reading magazines if they tend give rise to self-criticism; limit interactions with anyone who tends towards negativity or drama; don’t hang around anyone who makes negative comments about themselves or others (it could make it easier for those voices inside yourself get louder); spend more time with positive media messages and people (this includes online)—the ones that focus on good news stories, overcoming challenges, inspirational success stories
It is possible to change your negative thinking patterns, but it takes time and commitment
There’s no quick fix when it comes to changing how you think, but it’s a challenge worth tackling.
Just like with any therapy, medication, or self-help tool that you can use to improve your mental health, you will probably experience setbacks along the way. In fact, it’s completely normal to feel frustrated at times. You may find yourself wanting to give up altogether because you’re worked so hard and yet still feel stuck in the same negative thinking patterns.
For those of us who are prone to negativity, it is particularly important that we work on our negative self-talk by reminding ourselves that setbacks are natural and part of the process of growth. Recognizing them for what they are is key. If we become too discouraged by these setbacks—by telling ourselves “I’ve tried everything!”—we could get stuck in a rut where we just focus on our failures rather than on all of the ways our efforts have helped us grow stronger.
A crucial step toward learning how to control negative thoughts is seeking support from others when things get really tough or if you’re feeling stuck in one particular spot on your journey towards greater happiness through self-compassionate living.”
Lifereference 