Stop Being Nice All The Time

“Be nice. Always be nice. Be the nicest person you know.” You hear these pieces of advice over and over in your life, particularly for girls because they are raised to be nice: to be polite and to not offend or hurt anyone’s feelings. But is this always a good thing? If someone is being mean to you, should you let them get away with it? Don’t be a pushover, it’s time to stand up for yourself…

You don’t have to be nice all the time.

You don’t have to be nice all the time. Being nice is a choice. You can choose when you want to be nice, and to whom. It’s possible that you’re too nice and are seen as a doormat rather than a person with your own thoughts, ideas, and feelings.

Being nice is not the same as being a doormat; there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and saying no even if it might make someone angry or upset with you. If another person takes advantage of your niceness, stop being so nice to them. You will feel better about yourself, more confident in yourself, and less taken advantage of by others if you start saying no when you want to say no instead of always saying yes when people ask favors.

If this sounds like something that might be difficult for you at first, then make it easier on yourself: try writing down things that other people have asked of you that made you uncomfortable or annoyed but said yes to anyway just because they asked (this includes doing things without being asked!). Then next time someone asks one of those things of you (or they ask anything else), say no!

Being nice is not the same as being polite.

Being polite is not the same as being nice. Being polite is being mindful of the feelings and wishes of others. Being nice, on the other hand, can mean sacrificing your own well-being to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. Who wants to be a doormat for anyone? So be mindful of the difference between the two concepts.

Being polite means using well-mannered language when you address people (yes, rather than duh). It also means offering help when you see an elderly person struggling with their shopping bags, or letting someone go ahead of you in line at the supermarket. Polite actions can convey positive emotions like respect and consideration; they’re simply a way to remain calm and respectful when interacting with others in potentially stressful situations.

However, there are cases where it’s important not to be nice—and that’s where rudeness comes in handy. If someone is harassing you or harming your reputation without cause, rudeness can make them get out of your face and leave you alone. It could even save your life if it prevents violent people from attempting to take advantage of your politeness.

Being a ‘doormat’ is not being nice.

I have a friend who is absolutely incredible. He’s always so nice to everyone—even people who don’t deserve it. This is what makes him so wonderful, but it also hurts him in the long run because everyone he does nice things for winds up taking advantage of him.

I want to be like my friend, but I’m not sure how to avoid being taken advantage of (and he’s been taking advantage of me for long enough that I should just start being honest). So I decided to write this blog post and share my secret with you all: don’t be nice all the time!

We’ve all seen doormats in our lives—people who will do anything for anyone, even if it hurts them later on. And these doormats aren’t just some obnoxious jerk; they’re actually good people. Good people can really make things difficult for themselves by being too overly-nice, and you can see how much better off they are when they’re not being nice at all times. It makes sense if you look at it from an economic standpoint: when there’s nothing but kindness in a relationship, one person usually benefits more than the other partner does—not that one partner is ever truly exploiting the other one, but rather that a relationship based on constant kindness has no winners or losers in particular anymore. However, this doesn’t mean we should always be kind and never say anything negative about someone else (just like saying something negative doesn’t mean we should say something positive all the time).

So what’s wrong with being nice? Being too nice is probably one of the biggest reasons why relationships go south in general (especially for those who desire longevity). While people may think that their partners are sacrificing their needs by putting so much effort into pleasing them (and eventually realize it was never about pleasing them at all), others treat constant kindness as a chore and thus stop expressing their true feelings altogether—a real Catch-22 situation! That’s why when someone pushes us over

Being nice is not the same as being kind.

Being nice is not the same as being kind.

Being nice means maintaining civility. Being kind means having compassion.

Being nice means that you are polite, friendly, and considerate of others. Being kind means that you show empathy towards people and strive to make a positive impact on their lives.

Nice is about manners and about being good to people. Kindness is about being compassionate and helpful. Nice may mean that you keep your mouth shut when it would be socially acceptable for you to speak up; kindness may mean that you say what needs to be said, even if it isn’t always easy or pleasant to hear. Nice may mean walking away from someone who needs help; kindness may mean going out of your way to help them in whatever way they need it most at the time. People can use niceness as a social construct—as in “behave yourself or else” behavior modification—but kindness is a personal choice that you make as an individual through your own authentic sense of empathy, concern, and goodwill towards others (or simply by recognizing when others need something without having any qualms with helping them).

There are bad people out there and it’s okay to hate them sometimes.

I used to have a hard time hating people. I wanted to believe that everyone was inherently good and the bad things they did were a result of their circumstances. But that’s not always true.

A few years ago, I visited a man who had been convicted of committing horrible crimes against women. Before meeting him, I worried I wouldn’t be able to see past his crimes and understand where he came from long enough to truly empathize with him. But after spending time with him, my gut reaction changed: He was clearly intelligent and well-read, but he also lacked empathy for his victims and the gravity of his wrongdoing.

It’s easy (and completely valid) for us to feel hatred for people who do bad things like this man did; in fact, it may be unreasonable not to feel hate toward them sometimes. He wasn’t born a monster—there were events in his past that led him on the path he took—but we should still take responsibility for creating an environment that allows these kinds of dangerous people access to our society with little consequence or repercussions.

When someone does something evil, we all want answers about why they did it and how we can prevent future acts of violence or terror from happening again. We need answers so that we can get back to our lives without the constant fear of something happening again. But sometimes there are no answers because some people are bad at their core, regardless of whether their actions are justified by their upbringing or environment.

It’s okay to say no and to set boundaries.

It’s okay to say no, and to set boundaries for yourself. You don’t have to let people exploit you!

It’s okay to say no and to set boundaries for others. If you don’t set boundaries for other people, they will assume you will always do what they ask of you.

People who are nice all the time become “people pleasers.” People pleasing is a performance; it is not authentic behavior.

It’s okay to get angry sometimes, especially if it motivates you in your life goals.

One of the most detrimental mindsets to have is the idea that anger is a bad thing. Anger has been given a bad rep for being an emotion that should never be felt and should always be controlled. This causes many people to suppress their anger, which can lead to anxiety and depression. In many cases, anger is a necessary and life-saving emotion as it can motivate you to change your situation.

There’s nothing wrong with being angry if you feel like someone or something in your life isn’t treating you fairly. Just because you’re being treated unfairly doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to overreact. However, it does give you the right to be upset and make whatever changes are necessary in order to improve your quality of life.

A good way to use your anger is by channeling it into motivation instead of letting it rot inside of you until it manifests into something much more serious such as illness or violence. For example, maybe there was an incident where a woman was catcalled while walking down the street in New York City by several men who were hanging out on their stoop as she passed by them. The woman could have gotten angry at these men for making her feel uncomfortable but instead decided not to let her emotions get the best of her so she continued walking without saying anything back or giving any attention towards them at all.

You don’t owe anybody anything, except for respect and courtesy.

Nobody owes you anything.

You don’t owe them anything, either.

Those are the most important things to remember if you’re going to stop being nice all the time.

Everybody deserves respect and courtesy as human beings, but beyond that, they aren’t owed any of your time or energy. If a neighbor asks for help moving furniture, you’re not obligated to say yes just because it’s your neighbor asking. If a coworker proposes working overtime for free, you’re not obligated to do it just because it’s your coworker making the suggestion. You’re under no obligation to fork over money or favors unless you want to; nobody has any claim on those things from you unless you’ve promised them already.

This might sound harsh, but sometimes we need a little harshness in our lives—especially when we’ve been feeling exhausted from spreading ourselves so thin by being too kind for too long.

There are days when you need to support yourself before anybody else, and that’s okay.

The truth is that you can’t pour from an empty cup. In other words, if you aren’t taking care of yourself first and foremost, how do you expect to take care of others? When we don’t allow ourselves to recharge, the chances are high that we’ll eventually become resentful and angry, which only hurts everyone involved in the long run.

Contrary to what you may believe, this is not selfishness. It’s simply being responsible and honoring your needs before anyone else’s. By regularly filling our own tank with a little self-care every day, we increase our capacity for joy and happiness so that there will be enough left over to share with others when called upon.

You can decide when and where you are going to be nice, but it’s important to still be polite.

Stop being nice all the time. It’s okay to not be nice sometimes. Being polite is not the same as being nice. You can decide when and where you are going to be nice, but it’s important to still be polite.

Of course, there are times when it’s just not necessary to make small talk with a stranger or answer an annoying question from someone close to you, but don’t forget about basic civility and courtesy. If you’re in line at a coffee shop and the cashier has taken care of the person before you and is now asking for your order, please don’t stare at your phone or pretend that you didn’t hear them, just say “Sorry, I’ll have a large black coffee” or something similar!