Have you ever stood around a campfire trying to make small talk with people you have just met, not knowing what else to say? If so, you might have found yourself struggling to think of topics of conversation and ways to be more interesting. Well this video is for you. Here I will give you helpful tips on how to think more interestingly and make more friends.
Be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean telling strangers you see on the street your deepest, darkest secrets. But it can mean opening up to someone or a group of people you trust, or at least letting them get to know you better than most people do.
Ask for help when you need it. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that something is hard for you and that you need help if you want to improve at it. It may feel embarrassing, but I guarantee that the person who’s helping will respect that level of honesty and be happy to assist in your journey towards improvement.
Admit when you don’t know something. Nobody knows everything! Pretending otherwise just makes one look like they’re an ego-driven blowhard who has nothing interesting to say because they’re too busy talking about how awesome they are (to make up for their insecurities). Even if someone is wrong, even if what they’re saying is laughably stupid—it’s still worth listening and engaging with them as a human being rather than just dismissing them outright because their thoughts differ from yours in some way; treating others with respect creates strong bonds with those around us, giving us a sense of support and community we might not have had otherwise.
Be open about your feelings. If something bothers or frustrates me, I’ll talk about my frustrations rather than keep them bottled up inside until I explode from all the pressure building within me—I’m sure many others can relate! Being honest about how we feel isn’t always easy (especially if there’s shame attached), but sharing our emotions helps us connect substantively on an emotional level instead of just having shallow conversations where we pretend everything is great all the time.”
Cultivate your passions.
We all have our passions in life, whether we’re aware of them or not. They can refer to interests, hobbies, loves and even careers. If you don’t take the time to cultivate your passions, you could be missing out on some of the most interesting things about yourself.
It’s good to know what your passions are because it gives you a more solid sense of self-worth and identity. Plus, when someone is aware of their own interests and takes steps to make them a part of their life, they become intrinsically more interesting.
For example: if you are passionate about cooking but haven’t experimented much in the kitchen yet (perhaps because you’ve been busy with other things), think about looking into that passion more by taking classes at a nearby cooking school or signing up for a community food prep class that’s offered by your local church or charity organization.
Once someone starts exploring their passions—whether through work or play—they’ll find they have more energy, creativity and joy than ever before! This will make them an even more interesting person to be around because others will notice these qualities radiating off him/her too!
Create some mysteries.
More than anything, this is what turns people into bores: they tell you everything. They’re an open book. It’s like they’ve internalized the need to be a transparent and open person, so any time they meet someone new, they just lay it all out on the table. They share their life story in five minutes and then spend the rest of their time talking about something that happened to them on Facebook earlier that day.
People don’t want to listen to a biography every time you meet them for coffee. And even if it was interesting, only hearing about your life would quickly get boring because there wouldn’t be much mystery or suspense—or even room for discussion—left over from all the details you shared up front.
Instead, keep some things close to your chest and let other people wonder what you’re thinking about or what’s going on in your life outside of that conversation. Share facts without sharing personal details or emotions behind those facts, as these are best left for close friendships when trust is established (and even then, personal details are best kept private unless it’s necessary to share).
Don’t tell me everything about yourself and don’t ask me everything about myself right off the bat; instead we’ll both feel more comfortable with each other if we can develop some relationship together before taking our clothes off emotionally speaking, so why not talk instead about music or books or sports or whatever else we like without trying to learn anything too deep?
Try new things.
The best way to avoid turning into a boring person is to try new things. For instance, you could become an avid rock-climber and join the local rock climbing community. You could enter a chili cook off and compete against other chili chefs while expanding your cooking expertise. Or, you could be like me and take up embroidery, which has undoubtedly made me more interesting at parties.
When I got my first embroidery kit, I was skeptical of whether it would even be fun—I had never done needlepoint before and wasn’t sure what I’d make out of it. Well, let me tell you: people love hearing about my embroidery projects! At cocktail gatherings hosted by my friends—the kind where everyone stands in the kitchen with drinks in hand—my conversations about cross-stitch usually draw quite a crowd. It’s true what they say: if you do something when no one else does it, you’ll always have something new to talk about at parties.
Think about what you’re most curious about, and make it a point to learn about those things.
You don’t have to be the first woman president of China to have interesting things to say. You just have to care about stuff, and be willing to learn more about it on a regular basis. So think about what you’re most curious about, and make it a point to learn about those things. This is one of the best ways of being interesting, so you should try it!
Think about what makes you interesting. If you don’t know what it is, ask someone close to you to tell you.
When we were younger, we thought that being interesting was one of those things that would come naturally to us: just like reading quickly or memorizing a lot of facts, we believed that the world would instantly become more interesting once we did. But as time passed, it became clear to me just how hard it is to be interesting.
My husband and I always try our best to be interesting—we don’t want people to think we are boring or any less than anyone else—but sometimes there are just times when you can’t be interesting. For example, there’s no way for me to be as interested in what you’re saying as you are in what I’m saying (sorry!), and so when you are telling a story about something you did with your friends last weekend and I happen to tell the same story with minor details slightly different from yours, it makes for a really awkward dinner party conversation because everyone can tell what happened.
But if you take into consideration everything that makes someone unique—what they like, their interests and passions—and then use this knowledge in order to make yourself more interesting, well then maybe one day people will start thinking differently about who is actually the most fascinating person at the dinner table.
Make eye contact, and try to talk to people with your eyes as well as your mouth.
It is often said that the eyes are “the windows to the soul,” and indeed, many people can read your intentions and mood by looking in your eyes. But it isn’t enough to look someone in the eye when you are talking—you also have to look at them as you listen intently. In fact, most people will find you more interesting if you use your eyes as an instrument of communication, and not just a passive sensor for light. Use your eyes to show emotion and interest, but avoid staring or winking (in most contexts).
For example: When someone is telling you a funny story, try making eye contact with them while they tell it and laughing when there’s something to laugh at. When someone says something surprising or unexpected, widen your eyes in surprise. Nod sympathetically as they share their problems or concerns. As you get used to this technique, play around with how much feeling you let show in your face—but beware of overdoing it! Too much animation can make a person seem wild-eyed or insincere; know the difference between enthusiasm and desperation.
Learn from other interesting people. Pay attention when someone makes you think, “Wow, I want to know more about them.” What’s the quality that draws you in? How can you be more like that?
If you want to become more interesting, start by studying other people who are interesting.
Have you ever met someone and thought, “Wow! I want to know more about them”? What was it that made them so compelling? Maybe they were curious about the world around them. Maybe they had a passion for a certain subject. They might have had an adventurous spirit and been willing to try new things or go on crazy journeys. Perhaps they had a subtle air of mystery that made you wonder what else there was to know about them. Or maybe they just made you laugh at their funny jokes and entertaining stories.
To be truly interesting, you need to possess some quality that makes other people want to know more about you. The next time you meet an interesting person, see what qualities draw you in and ask yourself how can I be like this?
Ask lots of questions.
All you need to do is ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. Start by asking them about their childhood, and how they got into whatever they’re doing now. Ask them what they like most about their job or school. Ask them what they do in their free time, and why. Once you start getting good at this, you’ll see that every person has a story worth telling, and there are always more questions to ask. If a conversation ever starts to dry up, just remember that everyone’s favorite subject is still themselves: no matter who you’re talking to, it’s okay (and even recommended) to be shamelessly self-centered sometimes!
Network within your interests and industries.
When it comes to knowing the right person, being in a certain place at the right time, and meeting the right people to help you get there—it’s all about networking. But what does that really mean? It’s not just about meeting as many people as you can and hoping something comes of it; instead, it involves building strong relationships with others within your field and interest areas. These connections can serve as more than just potential job opportunities or social circles; they also expand your knowledge base, allowing you to learn from others’ experiences and perspectives.
For successful networking, be sure to:
Avoid broad networks like LinkedIn if possible. Instead, try joining professional organizations related to your industry or interests. This will allow you to connect with individuals who have similar interests and backgrounds—making for a much more productive relationship when compared to connecting with someone who may not be interested in or familiar with your niche area of expertise.
Seek out resources such as industry events that cater specifically towards specific industries or interests (like conferences). There are hundreds of these events happening each year across North America alone! Attendees range from well-known CEOs down through ambitious young professionals looking for their next big break—all eager to forge meaningful connections in their respective fields. And while many of these meetings take place annually (or biannually), smaller groups often meet monthly too!
Think long-term when choosing an organization for membership – whether it’s one that specializes in developing new products or services within an existing company structure… or those focused solely on helping women connect professionally outside their normal corporate roles–there’s always something exciting going on somewhere! It might even spark some ideas about how companies could work together better going forward too!
Pick a few people whose company you enjoy, and focus on spending time with them so they get to know the real you better than anyone else does.
You can’t be interesting to everyone, so don’t try. Instead, pick a few people whose company you enjoy and focus on spending time with them so they get to know the real you better than anyone else does.
For example, if your current three best friends are Paul, Ana and Jens, then the next time you meet one for coffee or lunch or dinner or what have you (other suggestions welcome), make sure it’s not some superficial hangout where you just talk about work and the weather and other trivialities. You want to get beyond surface level stuff with these people! Don’t be afraid to show them how weird you really are; chances are they will feel more comfortable sharing their own quirks once they see that it’s safe to do so. Make eye contact when telling stories (but not too much). And always—always!—offer honest opinions on things like food choices (unless someone might take offense).
No matter what happens though, don’t worry if they think your plans sound crazy! They’ll probably warm up after getting used to whatever new idea is being thrown out there by someone in authority mode at work who wants everyone else around her/him/them-self.
If all else fails though AND THEY DO SOMETIMES!, try being more interesting by talking less about yourself–or perhaps even keeping quiet altogether–and instead asking questions of those around me: “What did YOU eat for breakfast this morning?” is always an excellent opener for conversation…
Be interested in everything around you, not just yourself. Look for opportunities to be helpful and kind.
Be interested in other people. Being interested in other people means being at least slightly curious about most things, because everyone has a story. Most of us are not able to tell the difference between a person who is truly interested in what we’re saying and someone who’s just waiting for their next chance to talk. We’re all human; and so, we appreciate being listened to, even if it’s by someone we don’t know very well.
The most interesting people are often those who are curious about the lives of others.
Be interested in their stories. Everyone has lived through something interesting—it doesn’t have to be as dramatic as a near-death experience or having had an affair with the prime minister of Canada. Even the most ordinary lives have extraordinary moments. Ask someone what they think is interesting about their own life, no matter how long they’ve lived or how “ordinary” they feel they are.
Be interested in their thoughts. The thoughts of others make up most of their personalities and determine how they interact with the world around them; why wouldn’t you want to learn more about that? Instead of asking questions like “what do you mean?” or “are you serious?”, engage people by asking more open-ended questions like “tell me more about that” or “what made you say that?”
Be interested in their feelings—about themselves and about everything else under the sun! It may seem strange at first, but emotions are the glue which binds friendships together, so it makes sense to pay attention when someone shares theirs with you! I can promise from experience that your life will be much richer (and more fun) if you take time out every now again just to listen as others speak candidly on matters close to their hearts: whether those topics concern family ties, romantic relationships or political controversies… these conversations can teach us something new every single day!
The more open you are with others, the more opportunities you will have to grow into an interesting person
The most interesting people are often those who are curious about the lives of others. When you go into a conversation with someone else, try to be as selfless as possible. Instead of thinking about how you can get something out of that person or what you can tell them to make yourself seem more interesting, focus on understanding their point of view and connecting with their personal experiences.
In order to listen mindfully, it’s important that you don’t decide in your own mind what they have to say before they even open their mouth. If you’re thinking about what you want to say next or editing every sentence they say in your head while they’re saying it, you’re not really listening—you’re waiting for your turn. So instead, try to put yourself in the other party’s shoes and resist the temptation that we all feel from time to time (or all the time) to interrupt and talk over others when we think we know where the conversation is going. If each party waits patiently for their turn, everyone will have a chance to express themselves fully without being talked at.
Making other people feel heard is one of the best ways for them (and by extension, also you) to feel understood and known, which is essential for feeling close and connected—and being interested in each other!
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